Transition, part II (Chapter III)

We just boarded the plane. It's 10:45am. I'm going ot have to cut this short very soon. You see, at the airport, I bought this Sudoku puzzle book that contains 400 puzzles. My goal for this flight? To see how many I can get through in 3 hours. I think this bit of fun is definitely worth the money I spent ^-^

So back to the topic at hand. I'm single. Out of respect for Dan's and my privacy, I leave out all the details. I ask you to not ask me about them either. The current situation is very messy. I was going to move in with Dan this year. Now I'm not. My good friend Amy has offered me a place to stay next semester, but she's graduating in December. I have to find a place to live after that.

I'm a planner; I like to plan every portion of my life. For the first time ever, I find myself unable to do that. This next semester is going to be quite an experience. I am so nervous and excited at the same time.

Heh. Amy really came through for me. This break-up would have been a lot harder if she had not been there to offer me a place to stay. Granted, I have no place to talk about how difficult the break-up was.

After all, I was the one who ended it.

The plane has started to taxi. We'll be taking off soon. My sudoku challenge awaits! I'll write more after I get into NJ, and after I have some time to settle in.

Transition, part II (Chapter II)

I entered Texas fairly nervous and exited, and very anxious about entering graduate school this coming Fall, with my only strength and comfort being my boyfriend of 1.5 years, Dan. I leave Texas feeling accomplished, with a new-found confidence simmering underneath. In 10 weeks, I accomplished what I set out to do; namely, designing a new algorithm for phylogenetic construction.

Not only did I create said algorithm, I created one that is competitive with existing methods. For me, this was the first, fully independent, creative, and most-meaningful project of my life. I poured my soul, talents, skills and mind into this work. Near the end, I also was pulling 60-70 hour weeks. And the best part was? I didn't care. I was so damn driven; it was amazing to see myself so incredibly focused. Finally, I saw what I always felt was there inside of me; a woman obssesed with her work, with a problem. What a great confidence boost. The project has been a success; when I get home, I'll be finishing up the project by drawing up some more graphs. Then I'll be writing up the paper that my professor and I are going to publish. Just a success.

But that's not all I did in 10 weeks. That's not all that is changed. I leave Texas relying on my own strength, my ability to stand on my own. In 10 weeks, I managed to completely unravel Dan's and my relationship. We broke up three weeks ago. I don't know if I'd refer to this as an accomplishment though.

For this first time in almost 5 years, I'm single. I'm single, and I'm entering graduate school. It's like starting a whole new life... perhaps this is what I want to write about.

Transition, part II (Chapter I)

The next set of posts, "Transition, part II" were written partly on my way home from Texas. This is going to be fairly lengthy set of posts, and, as a caveat, I may not post them contiguously.

As I write this, I'm sitting at the airport in Dallas, Ft. Worth, waiting for my connecting flight to Newark. I'm finally coming home from Texas. I got up early today. Very early. When the alarm went off at 5am, I hit the snooze button. When the larm went of at 5:10am, I jumped out of bed in a panic; the cab was scheduled to depart at 5:30. I had 20 minutes to get ready, get extraneous stuff packed, turn in my key and drag approximately 100 lbs of luggage down four floors. I wouldn't be surprised if I woke up the entire dorm with the racket I made going down the stairs. I got to the airport at College Station at 5:49, only to find that the American Airlines baggage check wasn't even open; they didn't come in until 6:30am. Well. This was definitely not an airport in the North East, where you have to be 2 hrs early or risk missing your flight. After I checked my baggage, I noticed security check was closed. This was confusing, as they were open only a little while before. Security check didn't reopen until 7:10am. My flight was scheduled to board at 7:19am. By this time, I was silently panicking again. Of course, as I went through security, I got pulled over to be screened and patted down (Oh College Station, how I'll miss you). 5 minutes later, I had all my stuff together. The best part is, we did board, on time, at 7:19am. No problems.

The laxness of the airport, the blatant lack of hurry defines this place. It is a stark contrast to the mad rush, impatience, and need to start everything early that exists in the NE. I was suprrised that I liked it. Texas is an interesting place like that. Though I've been researching all summer long, I still think of the trip as a vacation in a lot of ways. A new place, flowers, new faces, warm weather (edit: oppresively warm weather). Yeah, I never bought my cowboy hat, but I'm going to miss Texas.

So why is this entry called "Transition, part II"? Flights are rarely transitions. Vacations come and go; summers pass. So why do I think, one again, that my life is in transition?

Because once again, it is.