More Reasons why Pantene Sucks

Seasonal greetings from your neighborly comp sci! It's Christmas Eve 2006, and I've returned back home for a quick break before the requisite study sprint for the qualifiers that I'm taking this upcoming January. Result of this last semester? Not too hot. Averaged a 3.0 for this semester; while it's much lower than I wanted, it's still not wholly bad. What is bad is that I now have three qualifiers to write this coming january. They are: Molecular Biology, Probability and Computability & Complexity. They all should not be that bad, as long as I prepare correctly. So I get to spend a wonderful Winter Break studying and reading Godel Escher Bach (a must read).

So none of the above news relates to my current rant, which, unlike most other things in my life, has to do with shampoo. That's right... shampoo (and conditioner!). So let's take an aside from the usual religious/comp sci related topics and talk about something over the top and girly.

So for over a few months now I've been using Pantene Pro-V shampoo & conditioner. Determined to let my black locks grow to new, unchartered lengths, I've been changing up a variety of hair products to see what I can use that will work the best for me. Though I distrusted Pantene Pro-V since adolescence (I couldn't help but feel that it was doing something bad to my hair, even though everyone else was swearing by it), I decided to give it another go. So after several months of using it (and determining my hair was getting drier), I went to the stylist who affirmed that Pantene is the worst kind of stuff to use on your hair, since it (-gasp-) dries out your hair. But other things should have warned me about how the stuff they're peddling is absolutely horrible. The label is the big one:

Pantene Pro-V 2 in 1 shampoo + conditioner: NEW with AMINO PROTEINS.

...

Wait, what? What the shit is an AMINO PROTEIN? So proteins, in their simplest structure, are chains of amino acids. Is an amino protein just a protein with a higher precentage of amino acids? If so, isn't this a bit self-descriptive? A quick search on Wikipedia turns up nothing, so I'm left to utilize my madd intarnets searching skillz, the stuff that all comp scis are born with. Most of the stuff that I turn up on google are either poorly quoted reasearch papers or ads for protein supplements. What all of these "amino protein" products had in common was the fact that they were ingested. Which made me wonder; even if Pantene came up with a protein wonder-complex that does wonderful things for your hair, why would you apply it directly to the hair, and not injest it? So I did some research on the purpose of conditioners. It turns out, that conditioners like Pantene are Pack Conditioners, with high levels of something called Surfactants. The purpose of these compounds is to coat the hair surface and not fully wash out, due to the hydrophillic bonding of the compounds with the core hair protein, keratin. This makes sense. In other words, the purpose of these conditioners is to effectively "glue" hair scales down to the surface, by adding a thin to moderate film of this stuff to the surface. However, silicones also found in such products (such as dimethicones) act as a sealing agent. While this is an effective method of smoothening the hair surface, it also seals the hair from moisture, effectively robbing the hair's ability to gain moisture from the surface. Also, it also creates the need for more shampooing to prevent buildup. Since shampoo is in essence a detergent, it robs the hair further of moisture, creating the need to condition, thus causing an endless cycle of shampoo and conditioning. So this, it turns out, is the reason why my hair was so dry.

So "Amino Proteins" seem to be this made up term for something Pantene is using in their stuff, and while it's purpose is to make hair sleeker through their "Exclusive Formula" I really think it does nothing more than actually make you hair more frizzy.

So I switched shampoos again. Let's see if this makes my hair any silkier. I guess if nothing else, this was a good opportunity to explore laymen biochemistry that goes into hair care products. And of course, a lovely opportunity for me to complain.

That's all for now.

A New Religious Debate

Cycling through my news articles for the morning, I came across this plum from Wired News:
http://www.wired.com/news/wiredmag/0,71985-0.html?tw=wn_index_10

It is about a group called The New Athiests, who are challenging all intelligent people to clarify their stance on the existence of God. This group is much different from previous groups of atheists, as they not only reject the belief in the existance of God (and consider it a disease), but they also reject all groups of people (agnostics, liberal believers) who may agree with some, but not all of their beliefs. They seem very binary; either you're with them, or against them: 1 or 0.

For a liberal believer of the Christian faith like myself, it is quite disturbing (and insulting). The article is a good read, and and I think it provokes some good thoughtfulness. However, I find it humorous that this Dawkins guy does not realize you cannot have prayer without religion; his belief system will just spark a new religion, thus propogating what he is intending to destroy.

It doesn't seem he looks too closely at the basic tenants of the teaching of all relgions: love, respect, humility, and being a good person. Also, I'm profoundly disturbed by the extremist stance he takes; in this manner, I daresay the New Atheists can be likened to terroristic organizations such as the Taliban and the Branch Dravidians. Please note I have nothing against atheists; I've just have never had any respect for any type of extremist, for those who cannot respect others, but demand respect for themselves.

Strangely enough, while I was reading the article, I started thinking of an old hymn we used to sing in church when I was a little girl. It goes:
"I believe in the sun
Even when it isn't shining
I believe in love
Even when there is no one there.
And I believe in God
I believe in God
Even when God is silent."

Something to chew on I suppose. That's all for now.

And yes! Suzanne has posted quite a bit in the last few days. What could it mean? Probably that she's avoiding doing work. And I would agree! So, back to work I go.

Friday nights...

So two Fridays ago I decided that I would go out and have some fun. So I went and visited some of my friends and played video games :-) I played the original Zelda. This was amazing, since I never played any game in the Zelda series (yes, it's true), and I had an absolute blast. Later, when someone else wanted a turn, one of my friends let me play with the character creation screen on City of Villains. It was amazing; while I really have no interest in playing the game, the level of customization a person could put into their characters just had me in awe. So after quite a bit of fine tuning, I came up with a character, who I named Czara. Below are some screenshots of her. Pretty badass, no? :-)




Check out her boots.. aren't they cute? <3

I guess this is a geeky girl's way of playing dressup :-)

Ok, it's late.. I'm pretty much done posting for a few days. Have a good night!

The Last Weeks of October

So much has happened in the last few weeks, it's hard to list all of them. All good things, so you won't hear me whining much :-)

Let's see: at the end of this semester, I will be staying permanently at Amy's apartment, and it will be my primary address of sorts from now onwards. It's really exciting, since I finally have a place I can call home. Plus, my housemates are really nice, so I really like being there.

I gave my presentation to the RPI chapter of the ACM last week as well. Believe it or not, it was a success! People genuinely seemed interested in what I had to say, and I got asked back to give future presentations (at least once a semester!). Hooray! Also, they advertised my talk all over campus, which, for me, was quite shocking/flattering, since most talks do not get advertised. About 20 people showed up, which was pretty good, and I got some really good questions. If anyone is interested, the slides for my presentation are up on the main page of my website.

Let's see... what else? Oh! My good friend Amy (who's going to graduate at the end of this semester.. *sniff*) and I decided to dress up together for Halloween this year. My sophomore year and her freshman year, we got dressed up as pirates, and it was a ton of fun :-) Since this is her last semester, I guess we're going to have a repeat just for old time's sake. But, what to be? Our first idea was going to be "Cowboys and Indian" (guess who the Indian would be?). Then we had a "Disney Princesses" idea (I would have been Jasmine), and we even had a girl-version of the "Village People" idea (again I'd be the Indian... but there weren't enough girls!). So Amy and I were talking one night, and I jokingly (emphasize, JOKINGLY) suggested that we go as characters from Sailor Moon. Horrifically enough, she ran with it, and it now seems I will be Sailor Mars and she is going to be Sailor Mercury. Amy's even dyeing her hair blue! I'll post a picture or two if my dignity allows it.

So this last weekend, we carved pumpkins and worked on our costumes. Believe it or not, we actually were able to make pleated skirts from scratch (go us!) and the costumes are probably going look surprisingly good, considering our total lack of any sewing expertise. We're almost done... though I want to save the actual pictures of us till after Halloween, I might post a quick pick of just my costume.. I'm so excited! Our pumpkins also turned out quite nice. Below are two pictures of Amy's pumpkin, my pumpkin, and our suitemate's pumpkin (coincidentally also Amy). I also have a closeup of my pumpkin, which was a black kitty against a moon. Pretty simple, but I haven't carved a pumpkin since I was like five, so it was a heck of an experience for me.




Oh! And of course, I should mention Computer Science Day, which has been the highlight of the past few weeks. Rensselaer hosted the first annual Computer Science Day last friday, in which we welcomed four world renowned researchers to come and talk about research related to a particular topic. This year's theme was Computational Geometry, and our researchers talked about geometry and topology as they applied to db search (Dr. Indyk), Computer Vision (Dr. Ponce), Bioinformatics (Dr. Edelsbrunner) and Random Sampling Methods (Dr. Kannan). It was positively amazing, and I attended all the talks. 12 am Friday, I was elated, and singing random CS carols that I made up, like "Little CS boy", which were horrific knockoffs of existing Christmas carols, such as "Litte Drummer Boy". I will spare you the lyrics. But to see how giddy I was, here is a picture of that Amy took of me and her on the morning of CS day:



Don't I look happy? :-)

Anyways, that's all for now. This post is waaay too long. I will probably post some other random junk about what I've been up to in the next few hours/days. This week is going to be busy, since aside from working on probability, I still have the halloween costumes to make. But you know what? I'm doing well, and I'm doing happy :-) So life is good.

More later!

Being a chick rocks

Yeah, I whine about it every 28 days, but man, being a woman totally rocks most of the time.

I was listening to some of my music today, and one song that played was "Bitch" by Meredith Brooks. Quite a bit of the lyrics reflect on how mecurial I think every woman can be. Compare to another song that I really love, "She's Always a Woman" by Billy Joel, which I think also is very descriptive of most women (and me most of the time). I always liked Billy Joel; finally a man who realizes that all woman-kind is crazy, and always has been, and always will be, and that it's not worth trying to make us into logical creatures.

Yeah, so it's late, and I need to get up early tomorrow and do work all day. So, that's all for now! I'll give updates as they come.

Oh! I turned 22 recently! Hooray for getting old!

"And the most she can do
Is throw shadows at you
But she's always a woman to me..."

We just got served, team!

Voltron, REPRESENT!

I concur!

Why should you date a Gamer?

2 posts in 2 days?? Oh noes! What's the world coming too??

Here's the original reference, kindly found by Ethan.

I swear it was only apple juice!

So, in addition to my usual hijinx this semester, I also decided that I wanted to try not to drink. I'm 21, so of course I've had my share of drinks, but, the allure of it is quickly wearing. I agreed to go with Amy to a series of parties last night (including one at our place). "I don't want to drink," I said, when she asked me to go and mingle. "Take something with you then!" she told me. So I picked up an Apple&Eve juice box and headed down. Some people started teasing me, but I maintained that "it's what all the cool kids drink" and how the apple juice was "200 proof" because it was 100% juice (get it)? Surprisingly enough, I convinced other people to start drinking apple juice, including Amy, who didn't want to drink that much either. Together, we started a trend of apple-juice drinking. The second party we went to was ok, but I didn't really care that much for it because neither of us knew anyone. The third party... well. That was full of math majors, so I felt right at home. I met up with two Computer Science and Math dualies, and we had a grand old time talking. We traded horrid pickup math and cs pickup lines ("nice equation, wanna fuck?" and "you should come home with me so I can show you the size of my L2 cache" were some of the winners. I also threw one in there about "normalizing vectors", so you get the drift). We eventually got onto the topic of theoretical computer science classes that we've taken, and this (inevitably) led us to discussing graph theory (Dr. Isler would be so proud). I recalled having trouble with the proof-based tests, but the two guys told me it was cake for them, since they had to go through the terror that was math analysis.

Math analysis is appropriately called "math anal" at RPI, or just "anal". So, thinking myself to be horribly clever I said:

"I don't do ANAL unless I have to.", my mind still on proofs. What a horrible thing to say, especially in front of two guys. One of the guys I know winked and elbowed me, "unless you have to, eh?" and I buried my face in my hand, laughing.

Sometimes I put my foot down my throat so far that I kick myself in the ass.

Another thing about apple juice: like beer, too much of it may cause you to say very stupid things. Also like beer, you also pee a lot. And lastly, like beer, you wake up the next morning and think, "did I actually say that??". And yes, this was after three boxes of apple juice and nothing else.

I'm the hugest dork that ever lived.

That's all for now.

Transition, part II (Chapter IV)

And you would have never thought in the end
How amazing it feels just to live again
It's a feeling you cannot miss
It burns a hole through everyone that feels it...
Alive. I feel myself awakening again. I haven't written here for a few weeks now, mainly because it has been so busy. I came back to RPI. TA training ensued. My mind shut down for a few weeks, as the realization of exactly how busy and exhuausted I've been this summer just washed over me, like a tidal wave. Besides accomplishing meaningless stuff, like getting ready for my courses and buying stuff necessary for day to day living, my mind has been shut off. I didn't finish the scripts necessary to finish the project so I can publish; I've just been too exhausted. I'm sure I'll resurrect them at some point and finish what I need to do. But now I have other things to worry about. I have a masters thesis to work on this semester, on Hidden Markov Models. As an initial project, I'm going to write a simple HMM in FORTRAN. Let's see how successful I am. I'm also TAing two(!) courses this semester; Data Mining and Computer Organization. Computer Organization will be a nice review, but Data Mining is what I'm really excited about. I think TAing that course will help me quite a bit in my two courses this semester, Computability and Complexity and Applications in Probability and Statistics. I need As in both of them so I can pass my qualifiers. Hopefully, this will also be accomplished.

All in all, it's going to be a busy semester. As far as relaxing goes, I went to a LAN party last night. I got to meet some interesting people and play some awesome old retro games. I also got shanghi'ed into giving a presentation on Computational Biology for the campus ACM. I'm terribly nervous, though somewhat excited and anxious; what if I look like a complete idiot? I talked to my friend Ethan about it, and he thinks I'll be ok. I think he has more faith in me that's due though.

So that's been the last few lonely, mostly boring weeks. Though only one week of school has passed, I've been agonizing, since my mind has been mainly shut off. But I think I'm coming alive again. And this is good news... good news indeed.

I don't want to talk about the whole "being single" thing anymore. In short, the plan is that I want to be single for at least one whole semester, so I can learn to stand on my own two feet, and learn to be self-reliant. A noble goal, but one that no one thinks I'll make. My friends told me today that none of them think I'll make it through the month without finding a boyfriend. Some are even counting down the days until I'm no longer single. While it's all very funny, it's a little sad that no one thinks I'm capable of being single for any long period of time. I still plan to stick to my goal, since I think I really need a period to rediscover myself. Hopefully I'll be able to reach my personal goals at the end of this semester too.

It's Sunday, the Sunday before Labor Day, and I missed church, again. This is quite saddening, since I did want to start going to church regularly again. Maybe after I finish reading the slew of books I plan on getting through this semester, I'll start reading the Bible again. At least that way I can start forming a bond with the spiritual side of me that I've somewhat left in the dark. For the rest of today, it's going to be paper reading, and perhaps flirting a bit with my Fortran book. I need to make an early start in this thesis, because I know as the semester goes on, I'm going to be hellishly busy. So wish me luck! I honestly hope this productivity spell that I feel coming on will last for a good deal. I need all the inspiration I can get.

That's all for now.

Transition, part II (Chapter III)

We just boarded the plane. It's 10:45am. I'm going ot have to cut this short very soon. You see, at the airport, I bought this Sudoku puzzle book that contains 400 puzzles. My goal for this flight? To see how many I can get through in 3 hours. I think this bit of fun is definitely worth the money I spent ^-^

So back to the topic at hand. I'm single. Out of respect for Dan's and my privacy, I leave out all the details. I ask you to not ask me about them either. The current situation is very messy. I was going to move in with Dan this year. Now I'm not. My good friend Amy has offered me a place to stay next semester, but she's graduating in December. I have to find a place to live after that.

I'm a planner; I like to plan every portion of my life. For the first time ever, I find myself unable to do that. This next semester is going to be quite an experience. I am so nervous and excited at the same time.

Heh. Amy really came through for me. This break-up would have been a lot harder if she had not been there to offer me a place to stay. Granted, I have no place to talk about how difficult the break-up was.

After all, I was the one who ended it.

The plane has started to taxi. We'll be taking off soon. My sudoku challenge awaits! I'll write more after I get into NJ, and after I have some time to settle in.

Transition, part II (Chapter II)

I entered Texas fairly nervous and exited, and very anxious about entering graduate school this coming Fall, with my only strength and comfort being my boyfriend of 1.5 years, Dan. I leave Texas feeling accomplished, with a new-found confidence simmering underneath. In 10 weeks, I accomplished what I set out to do; namely, designing a new algorithm for phylogenetic construction.

Not only did I create said algorithm, I created one that is competitive with existing methods. For me, this was the first, fully independent, creative, and most-meaningful project of my life. I poured my soul, talents, skills and mind into this work. Near the end, I also was pulling 60-70 hour weeks. And the best part was? I didn't care. I was so damn driven; it was amazing to see myself so incredibly focused. Finally, I saw what I always felt was there inside of me; a woman obssesed with her work, with a problem. What a great confidence boost. The project has been a success; when I get home, I'll be finishing up the project by drawing up some more graphs. Then I'll be writing up the paper that my professor and I are going to publish. Just a success.

But that's not all I did in 10 weeks. That's not all that is changed. I leave Texas relying on my own strength, my ability to stand on my own. In 10 weeks, I managed to completely unravel Dan's and my relationship. We broke up three weeks ago. I don't know if I'd refer to this as an accomplishment though.

For this first time in almost 5 years, I'm single. I'm single, and I'm entering graduate school. It's like starting a whole new life... perhaps this is what I want to write about.

Transition, part II (Chapter I)

The next set of posts, "Transition, part II" were written partly on my way home from Texas. This is going to be fairly lengthy set of posts, and, as a caveat, I may not post them contiguously.

As I write this, I'm sitting at the airport in Dallas, Ft. Worth, waiting for my connecting flight to Newark. I'm finally coming home from Texas. I got up early today. Very early. When the alarm went off at 5am, I hit the snooze button. When the larm went of at 5:10am, I jumped out of bed in a panic; the cab was scheduled to depart at 5:30. I had 20 minutes to get ready, get extraneous stuff packed, turn in my key and drag approximately 100 lbs of luggage down four floors. I wouldn't be surprised if I woke up the entire dorm with the racket I made going down the stairs. I got to the airport at College Station at 5:49, only to find that the American Airlines baggage check wasn't even open; they didn't come in until 6:30am. Well. This was definitely not an airport in the North East, where you have to be 2 hrs early or risk missing your flight. After I checked my baggage, I noticed security check was closed. This was confusing, as they were open only a little while before. Security check didn't reopen until 7:10am. My flight was scheduled to board at 7:19am. By this time, I was silently panicking again. Of course, as I went through security, I got pulled over to be screened and patted down (Oh College Station, how I'll miss you). 5 minutes later, I had all my stuff together. The best part is, we did board, on time, at 7:19am. No problems.

The laxness of the airport, the blatant lack of hurry defines this place. It is a stark contrast to the mad rush, impatience, and need to start everything early that exists in the NE. I was suprrised that I liked it. Texas is an interesting place like that. Though I've been researching all summer long, I still think of the trip as a vacation in a lot of ways. A new place, flowers, new faces, warm weather (edit: oppresively warm weather). Yeah, I never bought my cowboy hat, but I'm going to miss Texas.

So why is this entry called "Transition, part II"? Flights are rarely transitions. Vacations come and go; summers pass. So why do I think, one again, that my life is in transition?

Because once again, it is.

Of God and Computers

So I recently fell upon this gem of a find, called God and Computers, a seven part series of lectures given by no other than Computer Science/Jedi Master Donald Knuth. The audio and video files can be found at the TechNetCast archives. The video files are .ram, however, and since I didn't feel like befouling my computer with Real Player, I originally downloaded just the MP3s. However, on second glance, I realized that VLC ( <3 ) plays .ram files, and so I'm planning to download those as well.

This series of lectures was given by Dr. Knuth at MIT in 1999. In it, Knuth talks about the interplay of faith (particularly that of Christianity) and Computer Science, and the relevence one has to the other. I have only so far gotten through most of the introduction, but I have a feeling I will be spending a good part of Saturday listening /watching it. It should, in short, be an awesome experience :-)

Just thought I should share...

Laters.

Computer Science Rock Stars

Now that I'll be going to Graduate School, I will be writing papers, attending conferences, and probably rubbing shoulders with some prominent people in the computer science and bioinformatics worlds. I'm sure that in another five to ten years, I'll be quite used to all this, and see certain people as contempories. But your first time is quite an experience, especially if the first famous computer scientist you meet is none other than C++ Godfather Bjarne Stroustrup.

About two weeks ago, we were told by the CS department at TAMU that today we'd be getting a presentation by Bjarne Stoustrup, the inventor and standardizer of C++. At first, I treated the news with much nochalance; when have I wished to walk in the world of CS gods? I pay no attention to movie stars or rock stars or any other famous persons, since I never cared to meet them (at age 12, I thought all my female classmates were prematurely lobotomized, seeing they way they went on about some actors), and I felt like I had better things to do with my time.

Meeting Stroustrup is not a big deal, I thought. That was two weeks ago. In two weeks, my attitude of general indifference transformed into one of expectant anticipation, into one of eagerness and excitement. Why would I care about Stroustrup so much? Well, it has to do with my love of C++.

I learned C++ for the first time when I was 16 years old, the summer before my Junior year of high school. I had one of those tutorial books, and I wrote little programs here and there. It was my first taste of anything resembling object oriented programming, and I was thrilled. I loved the concept of an object, the fact that I could represent the characteristics of almost anything imaginable by a set of attributes, and that all these attributes can be melted together to form one, singular and cohesive object.

I know that is an awful lot of romanticizing, but what do you expect from a sixteen year old who having her first secret love affair with programming? I knew Pascal by that point, but it didn't excite me, it didn't make me wonder what I can build, what I could create, and, most of all, didn't inspire me to pursue Computer Science as a career option. I remember thinking about all the ridiculous things I could represent with object oriented code: cups, dining sets, houses, relationships, a universe of interaction. And puppy dogs (giggle). A puppy dog is composed of a set of actions, of fur, of smell, of a set of barks, of a set of emotions, of a set of organs... and an organ is composed of set of tissues.. and these tissues are composed of a set of cells... sets within sets; objects within objects. I can only wonder now if perhaps it was then that I first thought about molecules, DNA and life as code. Was this when the passion for Bioinformatics was born inside of me?

As today drew closer, I felt like there was a lot I needed to thank this man for. Would I have started liking programming, if it weren't for C++? Would I have been interested in Computer Science? Would I have a Computer Science degree? Would I have gone into Bioinformatics? Bjarne Stroustrup... could it be? Could this be the man that had a hand in the fates that would cause me to choose Bioinformatics? Rensselaer asked me, "Why not change the world?" Bjarne Stroustrup said, "Here, use this."

I knew it would be an experience that I wouldn't want to forget. It was suggested to us by the department that we bring copies of Dr. Stroustrup's C++ Bible, The C++ Programming Language or The Design and Evolution of C++. I secretly wanted the latter, but, I feared that paying $50+ dollars for a book for Dr. Stroustrup to sign was not only very nerdy but also very very wasteful. I'm sure that's one of the reasons I thought that perhaps my boyfriend Dan would love to have an autographed copy of a book from Dr. Stroustrup (yeah right). I eventually realized that I ought to find a better option as a birthday gift, so I looked for other ways to have a memento. I eventually settled on my digital camera and resolved that I would get a picture of him and me.

12 noon today I sat eagerly in my chair in the conference room that sat about 20 people, wondering when he'd show up. Some of the other guys gently teased me about bringing a camera, and I lightheartedly replied that they were jealous that they didn't think of the idea first. Genius! I thought to myself. At this moment, Dr. Stroustrup walked into the room, and I smiled at him, embarassed. I'm sure if I was any lighter he would have seen me blush.

Dr. Stroustrup was a fairly thin man, very gentle and soft-spoken with a sharp wit and likeable sense of humor. He had a thick European accent, which only added to his Rockstar appeal. He looked at us (who brought lunches) and remarked on how great it will be to stand up in front of everyone and watch us eat while he himself had an empty stomach. I immediately offered him some food, and then clamped my mouth shut. What's wrong with you? I asked myself, furious for drawing attention to myself.

Dr. Stroustrup didn't seem to notice and started talking about C++, its applications (did you know Photoshop is written in C++?), and some of its design decisions. "I am reluctant to call [C++] an object oriented language" he said, "because the object oriented component is merely an option. I hate languages that force the concept of object oriented design on you, preventing you from deciding what should be an object and what should not." I grinned. Like Java, I thought, remembering one of the biggest reasons I hated the language. At this point, I'm staring at him with this look of utter adoration that could be best described as the female version of the last panel of this comic.

He eventually went into more complicated and advanced portions of the language's design, heavily using terms in Computer Science that I vaguely remembered hearing about in Programming Languages. I looked around me. Some students were nodding and smiling, while others had blank looks on their faces. Even the ones who are nodding have no clue what he's saying, I comforted myself. Except the guy from Purdue. He was during research in Compiler Design, and I knew out of all of us, he would be the best equipped to understand exactly what the good Professor was referring to. But, regardless, we all hung on Stroustrup's every word.

Soon the presentation was over. It was time to say goodbye, and to get autographs(!) Several people asked me if they could get a picture using my camera. I was fine with it; I didn't care, so long as I got a picture with Dr. Stroustrup. When it was my turn, I stammered something out about getting a picture with him and if it would be ok. One of the other girls took my picture with him, but I was so nervous I didn't tell her how to operate the camera. I stood there, with a terrified grin on my face, simultaneously caught up by a frenzy of excitement and agonizing on whether or not my hair looked ok. As soon as the picture was done, I looked up at him (realized that I had pressed back into him, partially out of fear), squeaked out a 'thank-you' and ran for it. I asked one of the guys who had his book signed if I could take a picture of it (I did). I had also forgotten to lend the others the camera; thankfully one of the other kids had also smartly brought one, and not being as freaked out about it, took everyone's picture with Stroustrup.

As I left, I berated myself for not saying something to him. Then again, what was I supposed to say? I learned your language when I was 16, and it eventually inspired me to pursue Computer Science, thank you for inventing it? The picture I took of myself with Stroustrup also didn't come out well; It's too blurry to make either of us out (which is saying something, considering I'm petite, brown, and female).

And so ends my encounter with a CS Rockstar. I wonder as I encounter other famous CS'ers, if I will act the same. Hopefully by then I will be able to hold myself with a dignity that is worthy of a 21 year old, rather than that of a trembling 12 year old girl laying her eyes on her first superstar.

Ugh. I'm pathetic :-) That's all for now.

Still in Texas...

And still alive! Sorry I haven't posted in here much. I have to keep a journal and a website for my DMP internship, so I 'm busy maintaining those this summer. But I haven't forgotten about autologica.

This will have to be a short post, since I have to get back to installing stuff (*sigh*) on the computer I use at work. In happier news, I have something new(old) to share! So far, 5 people have linked me to this clip on YouTube (a big thank you to all of you who thought of me when they saw this ^-^). Therefore, it is my solemn duty to share it with all of you:

Kitten v. Front Row

Very cute, but I would not let my cat near my laptop. Imagine all the scratches on the screen.. *shudder* $2500 is pretty steep for a cat toy to boot. Still, very cute ^-^

Take care all. Back to the grind.

Texas, here I come!

So tomorrow morning, I am leaving for Texas. Hooray! I've been looking forward to this for the last couple of weeks. I'm finally packed: I'm bringing with me two computers and then extraneous stuff, like clothes, food, etc. I'll be arriving around 9pm EST tomorrow night, and then it's check-in, crashing, sleeping, whatever.

So I had a series of goals of things that I wanted to do these last two weeks: They were:

1.) Relaxing
2.) Cover some FORTRAN
3.) Relearn C
4.) Read research papers
5.) Contact people about qualifiers

Of those objectives, the following were accomplished:

1.) Relaxing
2.) Cover Some FORTRAN - A little
3.) Relearn C - A bit more
4.) Read research papers - 30% (longest one read)
5.) Contact people about qualifiers - nada

I have a few days in Texas before "work" officially starts, so I can finish reading my research papers easily in that time frame and look over C some more. In the case I never make it to Texas or back, I have decided to assemble a series of last words:

"Planes are completely safe!"

"Hmm.. pointers in C look easier than the ones in C++."

"Genetic and Cooperative Algorithms? Psh. Piece of cake."

"I'm 95 miles from Houston! I'm safe from whatever hurricane blows through the Gulf this summer. Six major storms? What a joke!"

--alternatively --

"Global warming totally doesn't exist!"



In other news, Dan is up at our new apartment for the summer. He's taken a bunch of pictures of our place, which he will be sending over to me shortly. So, apartment pics will be posted soon! Yay!

Ok. I better stop being hyper and get some rest. I have a plane to catch tomorrow.

Have a good night.
-Suzanne

Transition

... And then, with the draw of a breath, it was all over. I just sit here, blinking, at my parents' house, 200 miles away from the place I had definitively called "home" for the last four years. In a sense, it shouldn't come as such a shock; unlike the other students who are graduating, I am returning to RPI. I will still see my friends, my professors and everyone else I know. I'm not leaving. Yet, in another way, I am.

I can't even imagine what it will be like when I enter RPI again in August, this time as a first year graduate student. I can't even imagine what being in Texas this summer is going to be like. It blows my mind that, in two weeks, I'm going to 1700 miles away from where I am now doing bleeding edge research with a professor! And that in 10 weeks after that, I'm going to be done with said research, and I will be flying back for a two day break before I head over to RPI again to start TA training, and move into my new apartment with Dan. And then, just a little while after that, I will be a graduate student! It seems so surreal. My life is starting to speed up and I don't know if I'll be exhillirated or suffering from Toxic Shock at the end of the summer.

So I have two weeks to prepare. In these two weeks, I want to 1.) Refamiliarize myself with C and possibly FORTRAN, 2.)Start reading all the research papers on my summer professor's site, and get a general gist of what I'm going to do, 3.) Contact RPI about taking a qualifier or two and 4.) Get on a new diet. I have reached the unhappy weight of 133 lbs, which, at my height, is a bit too much for me to bear. I'm not "heavy" by a long shot, but I am definitely overweight, having gained approximately 15 lbs in the last year itself (partially due to illness). So tomorrow, I will start my new exercising plan ("Oh no.. call the cops. She's going to diet again?"). Seriously. This one is legit. I've been reading The Hacker's Diet by John Walker. It seems intresting, and hell, I need something to amuse myself in my spare time this summer, so what's better than trying to shed those ugly extra pounds?

That's for tomorrow. Tonight, I'm going to sit back, relax and just think about how I'm actually a college graduate, with a Bachelors in Computer Science. A song Dan introduced me to, "Here's to the Night", is stuck in my head. While it's about a one night stand, I think this song accurately protrays my current feelings about finally graduating. Good night everyone. To my friends who are graduating (Ethan, Theo, and so many more), congratulations :-) And I wish you all the best in whatever you do: "Here's a toast to all those who hear me all to well..."

"Here's to the night we felt alive
Here's to the tears you knew you'd cry
Here's to goodbye tomorrow's going to come to soon"

In the Final Stretch..

Well here we are. Classes have finally ended. I have one final. Not too bad, right? Except it is in the one class that I'm worried about. Graph Theory. It's a really informative course, and my instructor is terribly brilliant, but he has very high, albeit sometimes unrealistic standards for the class. Graph Theory is about definitions, theorems and proofs concerning graphs and their general construction ("well yeah," you might say, "it's Graph THEORY you idiot. What did you expect?"). In other words, proofs + definitions + theorems = oodles of memorization. It shouldn't be as bad as the midterm, since he is letting us have a "cheat sheet" containing theorems and definitions. I'm still doomed. The worse that can happen is that I get a C in Graph Theory. The best scenario, I get an A. I think my current study plan involves concentrating on the creation of mentioned cheat sheet, and going over all my homeworks and the midterm. If I understand all the proofs in that, I will at least be free of the guilt that I didn't sufficiently prepare.

In between study bursts, I'm amusing myself with a rediscovery of an old classic, Lemmings. I also am amusing myself with a game that one of my friends (Ethan) showed me, called Planarity. I'm trying to convince myself that this game counts as studying for my final.

I am sooo doomed.

I <3 Google Video!

So here are just a couple of links to some cool Google Videos that I've stumbled on during the last few days...

The Pleasure of Finding Things Out" - R.P. Feyman Interview: For anyone who is a big fan of Richard Feyman, you gotta watch this :-)

Marbles! Amazing Japanese video containing some clever tricks using some simple items and marbles. The middle part is pretty hilarious. I believe the song starts and ends with the phrase "Algorithm Gymnatics". Very reminiscent of Rube Goldberg machines, and a must see for anyone who likes stuff like this or have ever played The Incredible Machine (one of my favorite childhood computer games).

There are also some very interesting 9-11 documentaries listed, included Loose Change 2E. Also highly recommended for watching.

Bah. Less than a week left till school ends. And.. I still have four things left to do, including a paper, a major homework assignment, a test and a big project. Let's see if I survive! Wheee!

Naptime

A picture is worth a thousand words:

The cute kitty pic is from Flickr

A belated happy Easter to all. To all of you harboring a malicous hatred toward sugar-coated marshmallow chicks, check out this site if you haven't already done so. I personally won't touch these things unless nuked in the microwave for 30 seconds.

Gotta cut this short. If professor calls about Comp Alg., just tell him sorry, I had to go and see about a nap.

An update.. in a hurry

Dang it. Whenever I want to post in here, I always have something else to do.

Hello again. Haven't posted in over two months now. It hasn't been an uneventful two months, but my life is significantly different than it was before ("right, so how can your life be different in just a manner of two months?"). I got notice from all my schools and I know what I'm doing this summer.

So a quick recap of what's been happening:

• I dropped Differential Equations
  
• I got into grad school (RPI, got rejected everywhere else)
  
• I have a research internship for the summer

So I guess I will be sticking around Rensselaer for a few more years. I'm happy I got into the CS PhD program, and that I was offered a TAship. It hurts that I didn't get in anywhere else (though, it seems the sole reason for that was my GPA). But, I guess I'll have to take it as it comes. I'm working with the best at RPI, and I am in good hands. The Computer Science department here is great, I'm comfortable with them, I know everyone already, so I'm in good shape, right? I'll be doing research that I want, with the person I want, at a school I am comfortable at. But four more years... what will my life be like in four more years?

At this point in time, it seems that I'm just waiting for this chapter of my life to end. I'm just waiting for all the courses to finish, for commencement to roll around, for me to get my degree. And then... a new life begins. As a researcher. Wow. And then, in a few years, I'll hold a PhD in Computer Science. How cool is that? Dr. Suzanne Matthews. Scary...

I'll probably talk about a few things later. For now, it's lunch time! So I got to go.

And did I mention Dan and I are moving in together?

And so a new life waits to begin...

Listen...

So I found the following picture on Stumble Upon, and I think it's really neat.

I've included the Original URL so please don't sue me :-)

Well, I'm back in school... back in class.

Here are the courses I'm taking this semester:

Differential Equations
Computer Algorithms
Graph Theory
Bioinformatics II
Personality

I'm taking the last one only because I have to (stupid humanity requirements). I'm a little unsure on whether or not I should stay in Differential Equations. I don't need to take Differential Equations or Graph Theory (I'm taking them for kicks). However, Graph Theory is going to be ridiculously cool while Differential Equations is... well, going to be Differential Equations. I don't want to waste my time in a course that won't help me in the long run and right now, I'm a bit unsure how much Differential Equations will help me for Bioinformatics. And one of my professors pointed out that I don't have to take every single course in RPI that might help me. I know that's logical, and that it's probably not worth sacrificing my grades in the long run, but I can't help but think... "why not?" It's just so... frustrating. There is still so much that I want to learn.

I could audit the course. However, I feel like it's almost cheating. *sigh* Something's very wrong with me.

Anyways, it's friday night. I'm getting yelled at for doing work, so I should probably be relaxing :-) That's all for now.