How amazing it feels just to live again
It's a feeling you cannot miss
It burns a hole through everyone that feels it...
Alive. I feel myself awakening again. I haven't written here for a few weeks now, mainly because it has been so busy. I came back to RPI. TA training ensued. My mind shut down for a few weeks, as the realization of exactly how busy and exhuausted I've been this summer just washed over me, like a tidal wave. Besides accomplishing meaningless stuff, like getting ready for my courses and buying stuff necessary for day to day living, my mind has been shut off. I didn't finish the scripts necessary to finish the project so I can publish; I've just been too exhausted. I'm sure I'll resurrect them at some point and finish what I need to do. But now I have other things to worry about. I have a masters thesis to work on this semester, on Hidden Markov Models. As an initial project, I'm going to write a simple HMM in FORTRAN. Let's see how successful I am. I'm also TAing two(!) courses this semester; Data Mining and Computer Organization. Computer Organization will be a nice review, but Data Mining is what I'm really excited about. I think TAing that course will help me quite a bit in my two courses this semester, Computability and Complexity and Applications in Probability and Statistics. I need As in both of them so I can pass my qualifiers. Hopefully, this will also be accomplished.
All in all, it's going to be a busy semester. As far as relaxing goes, I went to a LAN party last night. I got to meet some interesting people and play some awesome old retro games. I also got shanghi'ed into giving a presentation on Computational Biology for the campus ACM. I'm terribly nervous, though somewhat excited and anxious; what if I look like a complete idiot? I talked to my friend Ethan about it, and he thinks I'll be ok. I think he has more faith in me that's due though.
So that's been the last few lonely, mostly boring weeks. Though only one week of school has passed, I've been agonizing, since my mind has been mainly shut off. But I think I'm coming alive again. And this is good news... good news indeed.
I don't want to talk about the whole "being single" thing anymore. In short, the plan is that I want to be single for at least one whole semester, so I can learn to stand on my own two feet, and learn to be self-reliant. A noble goal, but one that no one thinks I'll make. My friends told me today that none of them think I'll make it through the month without finding a boyfriend. Some are even counting down the days until I'm no longer single. While it's all very funny, it's a little sad that no one thinks I'm capable of being single for any long period of time. I still plan to stick to my goal, since I think I really need a period to rediscover myself. Hopefully I'll be able to reach my personal goals at the end of this semester too.
It's Sunday, the Sunday before Labor Day, and I missed church, again. This is quite saddening, since I did want to start going to church regularly again. Maybe after I finish reading the slew of books I plan on getting through this semester, I'll start reading the Bible again. At least that way I can start forming a bond with the spiritual side of me that I've somewhat left in the dark. For the rest of today, it's going to be paper reading, and perhaps flirting a bit with my Fortran book. I need to make an early start in this thesis, because I know as the semester goes on, I'm going to be hellishly busy. So wish me luck! I honestly hope this productivity spell that I feel coming on will last for a good deal. I need all the inspiration I can get.
That's all for now.
No comments:
Post a Comment